You’ve done the research, read the reviews, and booked the tours. Now you’re standing in a bright, cheerful lobby trying to figure out whether the school in front of you is actually as good as it looks. Most parents leave a preschool tour having asked about hours, tuition, and whether there’s a waitlist. Those are reasonable starting points. But they rarely tell you what you actually need to know.

I’ve been on the other side of hundreds of preschool tours as a founder and director. I know which questions reveal the most about a school and which ones let a school tell you exactly what you want to hear without saying anything meaningful. After 15 years running TotSpot, I want to give you the questions that nobody hands you in a brochure, because the parents who ask them make better decisions for their children.

Before You Walk In: Know What You’re Actually Evaluating

The most important shift you can make before a preschool tour is to stop evaluating the building and start evaluating the people. A beautiful classroom with new materials and cheerful wall decorations tells you very little about whether your child will thrive there. What tells you something real is how the adults behave when they don’t know they’re being watched, how children move through the space, and whether the person leading your tour can answer hard questions directly.

The tour is where research turns into intuition. You will feel things in a building that you cannot put into words. Pay attention to those feelings. A calm, purposeful room feels different from a loud, chaotic one. A teacher who is genuinely engaged with children looks different from one who is managing them. Your nervous system picks up on those differences before your brain does, and it is usually right.

With that said, here are the questions that will give your intuition something concrete to work with.

Questions About the Teachers

Teachers are the single most important variable in your child’s experience, and they are also the variable most schools least want to discuss transparently. Ask anyway.

What is your teacher retention rate over the past three years?

This is the most revealing question on the list. Young children need consistency more than almost anything else in a classroom setting, and a school with high turnover cannot provide it regardless of how good its curriculum looks on paper. If a director hesitates, changes the subject, or gives you a vague answer about how “some teachers move on,” that is an answer in itself. A school that retains its teachers is proud to say so.

How long has the lead teacher in my child’s classroom been with you?

Follow up on the retention question with something specific. A lead teacher who has been with a school for five or more years knows the programs deeply, knows how to read a room of young children, and has worked through enough hard classroom moments to handle almost anything. A lead teacher in their first year is still learning all of those things, which is fine, but it is information worth having.

What training do your teachers have in the programs you use?

If a school uses Conscious Discipline, FUNdations, or any other specific curriculum, the teachers should have genuine training in those programs, not just a brief orientation. Ask how long teachers have been using the programs and whether they receive ongoing professional development. A teacher who has implemented Conscious Discipline for three years is a different resource for your child than one who attended a one-day workshop last fall.

Questions About the Curriculum

You’ve already read my post on what a good preschool curriculum should include. Here is how to find out whether the school you’re touring actually has one.

Can you name the specific programs you use for literacy, math, and social-emotional development?

A school with a real curriculum can answer this question immediately and specifically. If the answer is a description of the philosophy rather than the name of an actual program, the school may not have a structured curriculum at all. “We use a play-based approach” is a philosophy. “We use FUNdations for phonics and Everyday Math for mathematical thinking” is a curriculum. You are looking for the second kind of answer.

What does a child know and what can a child do when they leave your school?

This is the outcome question, and it is the one that matters most. A school that has thought carefully about kindergarten readiness can describe specific skills and milestones with confidence. A school that struggles to answer this question beyond “they’re ready for kindergarten” may not have a clear developmental framework guiding what happens in the classroom.

How do you assess each child’s progress throughout the year?

Good preschools track development. They notice when a child is ahead in some areas and needs more support in others, and they communicate that to parents. Ask whether the school uses any formal assessment tools and how often parents receive feedback beyond the typical “they had a great day.”

Questions About Safety and Communication

These are the questions parents most often feel uncomfortable asking because they worry about seeming distrustful. Ask them anyway. A confident, well-run school will welcome them.

Can you walk me through your drop-off and pickup security procedure?

You want a specific answer here, not a general reassurance. Who checks children in and out? What happens if someone other than a parent needs to pick up a child? Is there a secure entry system? What does the school do if a parent is late? The schools that take security seriously have thought through these scenarios and can describe them clearly.

Can I visit during a regular school day without scheduling in advance?

A school with nothing to hide will say yes. A school that requires advance notice for every parent visit is a school that manages what parents see rather than welcoming them into the daily reality of the classroom. There may be reasonable boundaries around visit timing so as not to disrupt nap schedules or certain learning blocks, but an outright no is worth noting.

How do you communicate with parents when something goes wrong?

Ask specifically about three scenarios: a minor injury, a behavioral incident involving their child, and a concern about development. The answers will tell you a great deal about the school’s culture. A school that calls immediately, communicates openly, and treats parents as partners will describe a process that sounds straightforward. A school that hedges, minimizes, or focuses on managing parent reaction rather than genuine transparency will sound different.

Questions About the Day-to-Day Experience

Can you walk me through what a typical Tuesday morning looks like?

Not what the school hopes a Tuesday morning looks like, but what it actually looks like. How does the day open? What transitions happen and how are they managed? When is free play versus structured learning? How long do children spend in each type of activity? A director or teacher who knows their school well can describe this in specific, comfortable detail. Vague or rehearsed answers suggest the person leading your tour may not spend much time in the classrooms.

How do you handle a child who is having a hard day?

Every child has hard days. A child who is melting down at drop-off, struggling with a transition, or having a conflict with a classmate is a completely normal part of preschool. Ask the school to describe what a teacher actually does in those moments. Are children redirected, supported, and taught? Or are they removed, isolated, or simply managed until the behavior stops? The answer tells you more about the school’s actual philosophy than any mission statement will.

What makes your school different from the other preschools in Gilbert?

Every school should be able to answer this question clearly and specifically. If the answer is generic, the school may not have a clear identity or a real point of view about what good early childhood education looks like. The best schools can tell you exactly what they do differently, why they do it, and what it produces in children.

Ready to narrow down your list? Here’s how to choose a preschool in Gilbert AZ.

What to Notice When Nobody Is Talking

Some of the most useful information on a tour comes from what you observe rather than what you hear. Watch how teachers speak to children. Not their tone on the tour, but their tone in a passing moment in the hallway or when they don’t notice you watching. Watch whether children seem engaged or parked. Watch whether the director interacts with children during your visit or stays in a more formal, administrative mode. And notice how the building feels. Not whether it is new or decorated, but whether it feels calm, purposeful, and genuinely child-centered.

You are not looking for perfection. You are looking for a place where the people who work there clearly love what they do, where children feel safe and seen, and where someone has thought carefully about what it means to give a young child a great start. That combination is not as common as it should be. When you find it, you’ll know.

If TotSpot is on your list, schedule a tour here and see it for yourself.